(It took me by surprise), I must say when I found out yesterday; Ooo!; I heard it through the grapevine! (I’m off there next week); Then, our hero, Joe 90, will be back!.
Now, Shhh! … Listen; Can you keep another secret?; Don’t say a word; ’90’, and I know he won’t mind me calling him ’90’; He’s cool! I know him well; trust me! Well, ’90’ has gone with an old school mate ‘Roy’! ’90’s school; had a swimming pool; every week, they had P.E.,
’90’, and ‘Roy’; Were the only two; That brought their enormous; fluid; sturdy; unique robust-looking; Green, South American’ Anacondas, When ’90’ and ‘Roy’; got in the pool; the other kids got out!; they were big boy’s, so were the snakes;
(All real ‘Cindy’) the other kids were jealous!; Especially the girls; Trust me!.
My name is ‘Cinderella’; Background Profile; Cinders; Cindy, etc.; The Top-Totty, in the ‘Moors,’ (Fairyland) the one that’s always being surreptitiously or fraudulently; Drugged-up, or Pricked’!; As they call it; In our modern era! (Try raped);
(I’m always stoned!); and away with the fairies!
I come from a faraway Kingdom; Working in a brothel; with my not so nice ‘Ugly Sisters’; I was a young ‘Britany Spears look-a-like. (you know the peasanty type; as in ‘Oliver’, the movie; always asking, (men and women) to hit me one more time;
That’s close enough, thank you!; The one that performs all over the place at Christmas; The one that everyone everybody wants to ‘STUFF’;
(And not only the ‘Turkey’.)
Kings, Princes (even princesses!); everyone wants a piece of me, trust me! Mums & Dads; Grand-parents; Pets; Even toys, which, also includes; Electric toy rabbits!
Even’ Buzz lightyears, and E.T.; Had a poke, a few years back; When they were hot stuffs!.’ (Have you seen the size of their hands), trust me!; E.T.; Refused to cut his nails; I always planned to have a Fairytale wedding; And not to be ruined by a couple of little ‘pricks; I’m a busy girl!.
(Especially at ‘Chrimble’!)
I got lucky; One day, an old lady, (61) came huffing and puffing at the door, of my brothel!. (she looked like ‘Madonna’); It turned out to be, some old dear; My ‘Fairy Godmother?.’ (These Fairytales always feature a crusty ‘Cougars’; So shut it!)
I will give you the runners and ‘riders’ as we go along!
(I will shed the dirt; on the other so-called Female Fairytale Heroines)
They say; snitches get stitches; not ‘Cinder’s; trust me; I have diplomatic Female ‘Fairytale’ immunity; which ensures a legal, safe, (back) passage;
Not susceptible to lawsuits or prosecution, (ever!) in any host countries Fairytale laws; and not even ‘Cowell, and ‘Clarkson’.
However, they still have to ‘beware’ of spindles and Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson; He was on ‘Top Gear’. (Like Lewis Hamilton!.)
If you have been following ‘Joe 90s’ articles, you will know, Joe 90, and his ‘Panel’, ‘The ‘GPP ‘, they inform on the shoes’ Women’ wear, and ‘Gentlemen; perceive have the ‘Law of Attraction’;
Which can be eye-opening!; (See; 10 Villainess Loafer-Style Women’s Shoes – Search; Joe 90)
Princess’s, historically, and from what my ‘Fairy-Godmother’ explains, and to my ‘Fairytale knowledge; He ’90’, keeps it real; Trust him!.
Those ‘Gentlemen’ have found that one of the things, ‘Women’ do when it comes to a ‘Man’, is to judge, by the shoes he wears, do I fancy him, what car does he drive; will my mother, sister, dad, even brother fancy him!; Will he eat my gold rabbits;
Will he mind me being on Top; ‘BIG’ things like that!.
‘Oh, he’s such an overconfident ‘clever-dick; that ‘Joe 90’. Hey, not so much of the ‘clever’!, Okay Ladies!. He is our hero; I have said it once, and, will say again!; He is well-loved; all over ‘The Wonderland’!. He has females galore in his fam!; That’s the secret; Ladies. (it’s no secret!) That’s how he knows, and much more, eh!. If you haven’t heard; well let me tell you, ladies.
He is the ‘Euphonious’ voice of the ‘Gentlemen’.
Before bashing him with your ‘Louis handbags’.
Why not go to his comments page, treat yourselves, (‘go on’!) and take a look at the messages females have left, like (‘Shanta, Felicity’ ‘Ann’ Suzanne’ Harish’), and, you, yourself, could be oh-so-surprised ladies!;(‘Shock horror’!)
Ladies note that the ‘Man’ has always created shoes; you only have to go back to the ‘North Americans’.
In more modern times, ‘Master’ designers such as ‘Andre Perugia’, ‘Roger Vivier’, ‘Patrick Cox’, ‘Salvatore Ferragamo’, have spear-headed womens footwear; look at how many men’s names, ladies.
He could have gone further and mentioned, ‘Bass Weejuns’, ‘Gucci’, are attributed with making and keeping the loafers and women’s shoes in general; on-trend; superior; casual; stylish fashionable and timeless, (but I won’t)
He only know ‘two’ house-hold ladies names, (‘Vivienne Westwood’ and ‘Beth Levine’) ‘He is just saying’!.
It appears that he is not alone; He is not the only one with a shoe fetish; looking at the list of men’s names above; ‘Joe 90’ just loves his ‘fetish’!; however, he thinks of it; more than an ‘Obsession’ or ‘Hobby’ to be honest ‘Girls!.
So, Girls, this is what you need to know; They have a panel; ‘The ‘Gentlemen Perspective’ or the ‘G.P.’, that pick the ‘Women’s shoes, which possess the ‘Law of Attraction; and love to see the ladies wearing, however not what’ ‘Women’ feel are appealing, lovable or even cute. (Like it or not!.)
Things to look-out for, are the descriptions of the shoe; Which women they feel; Wear what footwear, and the type of ‘Women’ they maybe!. Take offence if you like!; They don’t mean any harm!; They just want to put a humorous spin on things!, Okay!; Enough talking!.
Today Ladies; Female Fairytale Heroines.
A ‘Female’ character in a film, novel, or play, (supposed to get) rescued by ‘Princes! Who’s actions and behaviour are majorly crucial to the plot.
Scheming stepmothers and witches are the only women; who try to profit from and shape their fortunes. Not forgetting dirty old men, and ‘Clarkson’.
‘The Ultimate Female Fairytale Heroines’
Cinderella – Cinderella – 1950 – Hall of Fame – Movie Great
INC International Concepts – Womens ‘Gilia’ Buckle Mules – I would describe these shoes as sheer winter pop, an incredible explosion of colour – affects the ‘wearer’ of calm, even though, it may seem that the volume has increased up in the surrounding area. Another sportswear-inspired, (‘Equestrian’) gem! – the bit buckle hardware, adds sleekness, being well-tailored – cushioned with memory foam for added comfort (Shoes for ‘Barbie’, if you are not ‘Lady Penelope’)
Don’t you move, Sister, You stay home!
Bass-Weejuns-Pink-Patent-Leather-Ladies-Penny-Loafers – A finely crafted solid traditional round toe penny loafer; they great with jeans and shirt, or ‘Cardi’!; pairs well with most occasion. These loafers would be fitting in the city, office, holidays, out and about, even shopping for more shoes!.
The women that wear these shoes like eating strawberry yoghurt, in public; the lawyer type; that shop at ‘Waitrose’; and love dolphins, they live in a recycled plastic water bottle house and buy sandpaper condoms at Christmas!.
Her name is Rapunzel (Oh, shut up ‘Cinderella, I can speak for myself, thank you!); Background Profile; She is; I said, shut it, I’ll kick your arse ‘Blondie’;
I am ‘German’; I came to Fairytale land as an exchange student. I have two brothers; Unfortunate, they are ‘Grimm’; They never wash; The pair of them. (Girls, see how that rhymed)
I can escape from tall buildings; using my long, blonde, (she is not a real blonde) (ask the Writer) hair; from my arm-pits; very on-trend; as seen on the catwalks this season.
Best fairytale land feature; The only one; that has not been on ‘Top Gear’ or slept with Jeremy Clarkson; And 60 feet of lush golden hair;
(Until the end of the movie; turns out she’s a brunette!)
I was Locked up like, ‘Mandela’, an early age; In a smelly secluded tower; raised by one of those crabby, (D-list) vain old gits; which venture around Fairytale land; looking to exploit; healthy blondes of their hairs healing abilities, to remain young, like Cher, Tina Turner, and Pamela Anderson; they hang around the film studios, looking for significant acting parts;
Long or short hair?; These opulent ladylike flats, are oh-so-lady like, squared open-toed, with the noticeable gingham print, and low heel; These checks, would look beautiful, with the pair below, simply supreme!
In your face ‘Cindy’ CheckMate!
BCB Generation’s – These ‘Henaya’ houndstooth check, tie-up pumps, also known as ‘dogtooth’ check, are comfortable classic, ‘retro’ and creative;
Women and men, (don’t forget us!) adore these ‘chic’, ‘pointed-toe’ bow detail ‘slingbacks’, possess vision, – cushioned insole – memory foam – fabric uppers – latex cushioning – for added comfort. (Simply Adorable)
OK, but no tongue’s Frog!
Tiana – The Princess and the Frog 2009 – Kingdoms – Top (French) Restaurant Owner
‘Go on ‘Cinderella’ spill my bean’s; I am surprised you are not in rehab, like ‘Sleeping Beauty’!.
If you think snitches; don’t get stitches; wait till the end of the article; trust me!.
Her name is Tiana; Background Profile; She is from Russia; Came to Fairyland in the back of a lorry (other transports were available). She had big plans to open an up-market restaurant, right in the heart, (silly foolish girl) of the Fairytale Kingdom. Full of ambition and aiming to please; Invited out one night, to dinner by, ‘Jeremy Clarkson’, (he roams around the Kingdom, all day, and night) when everyone else has gone home! (Google him!);
Breakfast at Tiffanys? (No Tiana’s Palace)
She tried a tasty Italian;
Then had a good Indian, (by the third course) she came up for air; decided, to have a very sheen ultra-smooth, (large) ‘Brazilian’, as things started to get hairy; Silly foolish girl!. See what happens when you go out with anyone on ‘Top Gear’; Anyway, who goes out with Clarkson?; Trust me!
‘Tigresses; ‘Say my name, say my name’! ‘Tiger Baby – Silver Convention – 1975 – Vinyl
fWalk – ‘Jade’ – Leopard Loafers – (Tiger baby, aha (Ah!) I could not wait to get my teeth into these loud sweet-tasting dumplings; delicious; on-trend; all over the catwalk this season; leather piping around the ankle opening and vamp; a tidy gold-toned snaffle-bit; makes for an all-round firm loafer-look; another fierce design; this defiant much-loved bestseller; created with a faux pony hair leopard print on the upper;
All my dreams are dry ones!
She must have been on ‘Top Gear’. She was with Clarkson!?.
This poor romantic ‘Chic’; It’s a good job, I have picked her some cute shoes to wear; her story is so sad; She pulls strokes, makes promises; then tries hard not to deliver, making out she in on her monthly, dammed little liar; deserved all the trouble she got.
Hey, ‘Cinderella’; Do you know; ‘Kramma Itinarda’; I’ll introduce you later, bitch, trust me!
All this poor girl (Tiana) wants, is to own a restaurant; The people she meets!; Like ‘Clarkson; Thieves and cheats the poor girl; Honestly; she could have gone to 5’ Guy’s or Macky D’s. (Other food outlets Available!)
As for job; I would have given her one; I know she would have returned the favour. After two months; When I had, had enough it, I would have deported her; Trust me!.
Last seen working in a fish & chip shop, with Jeremy Clarkson, she was on top Gear I believe!.
Garbor – Predict – 41 -432 – 32 – Camel/Black Loafer; go wild, (and why not!)) created with a printed suede leather upper, with leather lining; classic; contemporary and inspirational. through the broader fitting; and cushioned footbeds
‘Hey Frog’, you adore these shoes, don’t you!; I sure do; Crrrroak! The ‘Tigress’ has a code name; ‘Frogspawn’; when on the hunt; or prowl; being wild (alpha-feral), they are usually single; and may evolve from ‘Tigresses’ to ‘Cougars’ eventually! (‘Cougars’ are no pussy cats; ‘Ladies, Gentlemen are aware)
I will be base my next article on ‘The Cougar’. (Oh, do come back!)
We ‘Gentlemen’ are also aware that the word ‘Wild’, could mean; to run wild, and real ‘Tigresses’ are usually accurate to form.
‘Girls, this is ‘Cindy’ try Tom Diner – Suzanne Vega – 1987 (Origin New York City)
Hey, Cindy, everybody knows Jeremy Clarkson, however, get the story right, I have never been on ‘Top Gear’! Trust me, were going to Fairytale land, hurt you later, bitch!
Her name is Sleeping Beauty (aka The Martyr; Background Profile; Came from Italy (or so she states), as no one except;
The Evil (‘Knievel’) Wizard, of Fairyland, Kingdom; Simon (well known for his amazing stunts!) Cowell, has seen her Birth Certificate; She is keen on ‘Astrology’ and ‘Stargazing’.
Ha, that’s what you get for sleeping around everywhere you go; for a hundred years, bitch, ‘Stupido’! (an apple a day!) Give up on the apples; Doctors lie! ‘Trust me.
‘What sort of ‘Women’; Powerful Fairy; Gatecrashes a ‘Children Christening’ Party! Make threats and evil curses!; You are a disgrace, didn’t even bring ‘Coke’ or Rum; That’s the sort of movies you are in
(A poor misunderstood gal?.)
How are things in ‘The Moors’!; Nice property area?; A magical forest of the sort?;
She is a romantic; However, When she invites the man she likes over to her apartment; He drugs her; for legal reasons; we shall use the term, (Graped!) by a bunch of them; They all fall asleep stoned on cheap spiked cider.
(Impregnated by married men, while she sleeps it off.)
They have played the victim for years, (who?) the whole bunch of them, silly; Back then, all ‘parties’ were guilty; being on Top Gear!. Go and get proper jobs; Selling ‘Fairytale’ land poppy seeds, or lost ‘Fairytale’ land ‘cherries’ or The Big Issue; blimey! These women, waltz around the place misunderstood; (Really!, by going on Top Gear?)
Cinder’s, speaking; So, what do they call you these days?
Hey, I’m still the one and only, Cinderella.
The buckle detailing keeps these shoes looking timeless; These unique on-trend versatile mules had The ‘G.P.’s’ eyes gaping. Contemporary seductive; adds support; grab yourself a pair of white jeans, beautiful buckle belt, and crisp black shirt.
Hey Cinder’s; Rapunzel; Sleeping Beauty’; ‘Kramma Itinarda’; are going to decorate your f#’Fairytale’ land face; like we did to Red Riding-Hoods, f# Grandmothers house.
The ‘Women’ that wear these shoes; are leaders focused, independent and driven, successful, often amounting great wealth; they like the more beautiful things in life; are rooted and earthy nurturers.
(Oh It’s going to kick off later, I can’t wait! Got my ringside Fairytale land seat!)
Beauty and the Beast – aka ‘Belle’ – 2017 – Movie
Kingdom – Fairytale land – Number One; Player of Hard to Get.
Background Profile; Came to Fairytale land as a refugee; after war broke out in her homeland;
Now married to (‘Gaston’) a former arrogant ‘Prince’; Who was cursed to live as a house-husband; Because he cheated behind his wife’s (‘Diana’) back; With a very crinkly, wrinkly, craggy, baggy old witch called ‘Camilla’. What a fool, eh! Fancy getting clocked by beautiful, bubbly, ‘belle’ (What a Ding-Dong!)
‘Belle’; Playing hard to get; (Knowing that every other ‘blonde bimbette’ in the village loves him);
By licking up to His (‘lollipop’) Majesty; When in reality; His (lollipop) Majesty; He would rather lick up to ‘Belle’s; Tutti-Frutti; She is the only wench in the village; That has nuts and syrup on hers, trust me; a unique taste!. (Beg my ‘Royal’ pardon; If your name is ‘Camilla’, or Wench!)
Valentino Gravani – Rockstud – Leather – Mules; Hey, Writer, I love you!; Here we have rock-star looking chic black mules;(Writer, I want to have your Fairytale land babies)
With golden pyramid rock studs, for the rebel. (‘hardcore’); Crafted from soft, smooth leather; a slip-on; with a pointed toe, low kitten heel, for a slight lift. Straps; with black and taupe trim finish; A proper ‘Swag-ette’ Fairytale land mule. (‘Swag-Pro’ – Below) For the thinking ‘woman’, like you!.
(Let the music play, I just want to dance the night away!.)
Beauty and the Beast – David Bowie – 1977 – Vinyl
‘Lucite accent’ – reasonably priced pumps – with clear ankle straps – these pumps are a most sensible and smart purchase, a well-constructed bargain. (Shoes a ‘Social Worker’/’Nurse’ might buy.)
The ‘Gentlemen perspective’ voted. 4. 5 out of 5 in their review.
(Shoes for time out!; however, not on, ‘Top Gear’; with, Jeremy Clarkson!)
The Snow Queen – 1957 – Movie
Kingdom – Fairytale land; Skilled ‘Body Snatcher’ (aka Wickedest Child Molester; In Fairytale land)
Background Profile; Her name is; Wait!, Wait!, Wait!, a minute!; Why is she here? Writer; Her types are the badest of the bad!; Also add makers of distorted mirrors and dodgy contracts; Like Simon Cowell, a devilish hobgoblin
‘Cinders’, please let me write? Now I have to start again! And I am nearly out of ink.
Background Profile; Her name is; Snezhnaya koroleva (aka ‘Snow Queen’) – She is Danish; She came to Fairytale land, as an ‘Au-pair.’ Shhh! … proper ‘evil’ totty!; The most evil, (watch your eyes and heart’s, and magic mirrors) she kidnaps children; and sets children, against children, and adult against adult, to dislike one another; destroying souls.
Her Sins!; She’s been on ‘Top Gear; (Here, a ‘Belgian’ bun; ‘Hunny’; Instead of a ‘Danish (Hunny) ‘bunny’!) and slept with Jeremy Clarkson, (crumbs), what a dough-nut!. Trust me!
No, you can put your ‘Hans’ down!; Be a Christian!; No!, she does not have brothers, that are ‘Grimm!.
However, don’t let that fool you; These mules provide a smart look, fit for any ‘Snow Queen’;
Luxurious feel; Pretty – Desirable – Unique; Snakeskin Style; Pointed-toe; Rubber Sole;
A structured mule; with a 2.5cm heel. If you are oh-so-nice to the ‘Queen’; She may melt, (slightly) and buy you a pair; or magnifying glasses, trust me!.
A comfortable slip-on; and you guessed it; You deserve them! Fit for a ‘Princess’.
(Why should only the Queen ‘Bee’ Royal?)
The ‘King’ adores them, and he splashed out on them for the Queen; Hey, Ladies grab your coats, we are off to the Palace!; (The King might gift you a pair!) Is that ‘Crystal;?.
These ‘Queens’ hang around loitering around junior schools, Masquerading as lollipop ladies, (usually; women); That help children cross the road; Outside of schools.
Secret; In reality, I want to see ‘Cinders’, ‘Rapunzel’, ‘Krama’ ‘Itinarda’ and the rest of them, Shhh!; Turn her into a big wet ‘Golden Shower’ puddle; It will only happen if I have sufficient ink to finish this blog. (Let’s hope, eh!)
She has a gang of ‘Snow Bees’, and she is their Queen;
She kidnaps children from their attic homes; Puts shards of glass in children’s eyes; Blinding them; forcing them to wear magnifying glasses like ‘Stevie Wonder’. Only releasing them, if they can spell the word ‘eternity’, out of their tears; on a frozen lake! (Nasty Queens)
So don’t let these cold ‘Queens’ or, Jeremy Clarkson, kiss you, or your children; As first, or your body gets numb; by, second or third kiss your heart freezes! (Trust me!)
Naturalizer – ‘Aurelia’ -‘Slingbacks’– In addition to being supportive and comfortable, this beautiful animal (snakeskin) print; ‘Aurelia’ Slingback; also evenly distributes pressure from the heel; extra padding and security, great pair of shoes – wear a nice pair of’, denier stockings’ with these ‘exotic’ babies – definitely for the wild child around town. Be the first; add these to your summer collection, and make your legs feel well dressed! (For the ‘hot’ daring Woman)
Shall we move on, I don’t want to write about the ‘Snow Queen’ anymore; I don’t like anyone that kidnaps children; makes them blind, so they wear magnifying glasses, and more.
Psst!, Writer, I knew you would not like her!; tell you what! when you finish writing, you hold her down; we tie her up, (to a bed stick something in her mouth), if you know what I mean; Then we call ‘Goldilocks’ & ‘The Three Bears’, and let them stick more than porridge into her! (If you really, really know what I mean! – No!.
What were you thinking? (Jeremy Clarkson) Be kind; I was feeling a Danish bun, Hunny!. (You Crumpet!)
I’m seeing ‘Red’ – I’m seeing a ‘Wolf.’
Kingdom Fairytale land – Top ‘Earner’/Entertainer (Every Year – Since 17th Century)
She is from Italy, however, now lives in Hollands’ Red’ light district.
Other attributes are; Casual ‘Nursing Home’ visits to, (Jeremy Clarkson & Simon Cowell) dirty old wolves, and werewolves; because she likes seeing ‘Top Gear’; And getting her hands, on very, very, very, big contracts; Of-coarse I meant Simon Cowell; See you have got the X-Factor!, trust me!
She likes; bunk beds; sheet music; and a good ‘fiddle’.
House of Bruar – Soft Leather Tassel Moccasin – A refined an emotionally inspired loafer-style shoe, lightweight, durable, extremely comfortable, and again enduring. (The women that wear these shoes; she likes singing, she ‘wanna dance with somebody’, It’s not right, but it’s Okay, has a ‘bodyguard’, and she ‘will always love you’; she is every ‘Woman’.) The Bodyguard – 1992
Hey, Writer, Shhh, hold up again! It’s Cinders!; This chic (‘Red’) stinks; worse than (‘Little Mermaid’) fish: There was a period!; Stop, right there!, I will get to that! Bloody, Bloody, Bloody hell!.
What version of ‘red’ do you want? (1954 or 2011)
The version; Where the hunter; (‘Wolf’) who smells the newly-menstruating ‘Red Head’ in the forest of ‘Fir’ trees; Pristine lakes; and feathery formating clouds! (From the 17th Century.)
Or; Do you want the X-Rated version feat; Jeremy Clarkson?
(This is Cinders; Spoiler Alert; It’s not Clarkson in the X-rated version, it’s … )
Or, the ending; Where the Wolf, (Zeke ‘Midas’ Wolf, aka Clarkson) eats ‘Blanchette’, after getting into bed with him; And the story ends there? ; Leaving, (Clarkson?) the Wolf with time, to visit the ‘Three Little Pigs’, to finish his huffing, and puffing. (If you know what I mean!)
I have a fight to attend!; (Or, do you want my version?) And, hurry my inks about done!.
Oh, my version, eh!.
I thought you would!. (Let’s look at another pair of shoes first, eh!)
Wolf & Badger – Megan Red Loafer – with Gold Snaffle
a cleverly hidden strap helps keep the foot in place; to complete this offering; a non-slip shock-absorbing rubber sole ensures all-day premium comfort on the feet.
The women that wear these shoes respect all things’ Aztecan’, ‘Spanish’; they are, (‘aficionados’) knowledgeable and enthusiastic about marbles; she sees ‘Red’ losing one.
Once upon a time, there was a blah! Blah! Blah! Blah! blah!: A Fairytale Land ‘Call Girl’ who lived a double life; Her parents never knew! Sent to the shops one day, by her mother; A terrible woman to buy some magic beans; So, that the family could plant a ‘Giant Bean Stork’
Walking through the forest; She stopped for a period; A ‘Perv’ that hung out in the woods (let’s call him ‘Bill’); thought he could smell ‘Success’; A cheap perfume; Usually sold, once a month; He spots ‘Red Cap Call Girl’; She was looking a little red, and flushed;
He commends her on her taste of perfume; she is surprised he liked it!; They spoke for another period; And she tells him that, she is about to visit her grandmothers house; Who lived near the Woman, that lived in a shoe; They part, after another period!. (Red-Hood; Makes a quick mobile (cell) call to ‘Grandma’s)
On arrival, he smells the same aroma, but more powerful, and pungent.
He knocks on the door, of the gingerbread looking house; “Grandma opens the door, and thought she recognised ‘Bill’; Grandma, having dementia, was not sure? (Honestly, I’m nearly out ink)
Are you from ‘R? Kelly’ Plumbers?, that has come to fix my (salt) water leaks.
No, Bill, the Wolf explains; Your ‘Granddaughter’ sent me here; She said you like ‘Top Gear’; (She invites him in!) Would you like to be on it.
Grandma, now, (delighted and overwhelmed) with her glasses on, says; Bloody hell bill, what a big ‘Contract’, you have, and what big ‘Eyes’ you have, (she passed his big teeth; that’s a tedious and old-line!) how longs your tongue?;
Do you want to gobble me, (would that be up, or gobble me down?)
Mr Bill Crosby; You thought I didn’t recognise you, eh, Ha!.
My ‘Granddaughter’; Little Goldenhood Call Girl’; Called me, on my mobile; Told me, you were on the way here; To offer me a ‘Top Gear’ ‘Indecent Proposal’ Contract; She pulls out her trusted ‘Shotgun’ called, ‘Jeremy’; And shot; not him; Herself! Shit happens, trust me!.
They did not all live happily after; No, not this time!
Suppose you are wondering what happened to ‘Blanchette’ (‘Redcap; Now ‘Goldenhood’, ‘Red Ridinghood’, etc.; She bought the ‘Magic Beans’ and ‘Coke’; And legged it home.
Now for something sweet!
Background Profile; We are family; Brother and Sister pairing; They are from ‘Germany’; They came to Fairytale land by mistake, through a mirror owned by the Snow Queen. They both (NOW!) have excellent eyesight and want to keep it that way, (Good vision eh! Well, how on earth did they get lost?)
These days, these two, (slightly underweight, then the next minute, overly fat) would have been on the ‘Child Protection Register, and their parents would be doing some time. (Trust me!)
The thought of been abandoned, cannibalised, enslaved, and almost murdered, by your government, must have been how Hansel & Gretel must have felt, trust me.
They say good things come, to all who wait; (I’m still waiting; The ‘Writer’)
As the wicked witch; that had a close resemblance to ‘Madonna’; Dick; ‘Yes’ I said ‘Dick’, was cut off short, like, (John Wayne Bobbitt; Google it!)
(Hey, in a ‘Children’s Home’)
Hey, Writer, Cinders again;
What now? ‘Cinderella’
Give, Gretel the most beautiful shoes; A pair better than my’ glass slipper’; I’ ll pay you tomorrow, if you know what I mean, you trust me!
Christain Louboutin – Deradama – Rainbow – Suede – Slingback – Pumps. Somewhere over the rainbow; you will find this superb multi-coloured whimsical show-stopping elasticated strap slingback pumps; these mules captures that summer feeling; with the label’s hallmark red sole; adorable; desirable, day or night; shopping, yes! Party, yes! Dinner, Yes! Yes! Yes!. The ‘Gentlemen Perspective’ Panel (GPP) rated these ‘Amulets’ as first-class, 5 out of 5, in their review.
(For racy contrary women called ‘Mary’, or even ‘Gretel.’
JM Weston – Box – Leather – Loafers – Bang, in your face; where are my sunglasses; these multi-coloured loafers; are so on-trend; and worth their weight in any gold or diamonds; These shoes speak for themselves.
Red Riding Hood has taken a pair home back to Fairytale land; Created in durable leather; funky and offbeat; irresistible stylish contemporary quality, Yes! Summer is here, have fun.
I think the next shoe that I showcase will be the last one, with all the antics, threats, intimidation, my pen running out of ink; Plus the kids, Hansel & Gretel, have now arrived; We can’t have blood and guts, and even death in front of the kids.
‘Ariel; Stop ‘Faustian’ with ‘Ursula’!
Background Profile; A little fish in a big pond; Former ‘Olympic’ Swimming Champion; Very gullible; Loves dolphins; Hates sharks; ‘Ariel’ invented waterproof make-up! She always leaves a yellow trail-mark, when going to the toilet; As a child, she hated wearing pampers; Now, Ariel hates wearing ‘Tena Lady’; Ariel’ has thousands of pairs of shoes; Which she never wears; Not even waterproof flippers.
Ariel is a beautiful delightful enchanting, (fish) mermaid girl; Who wants to know what it is like to have dry panties, for the first time in her life; Who makes a ‘Faustian’ bargain with; A cunning and rotten (Ursula) ‘Sea Witch’. ‘Ariel’ a rebellious 16-year old; Just how ‘Simon Cowell’ likes ’em; Forbidden by her over-protective father; (King Tight-One)
She falls for a ‘Baracuda’ on a, (dirty weekend) land trip. The silly girl; ends-up doing a dodgy-deal; Over the weekend; So she can ‘shag’ a human; Male or Female. (desperate & not fussy); Trust me!; Things don’t go quite to plan, for the hot-blooded vixen, and her prey!; Mortal Prince’ Eric’. (To get out of the ‘Faustian’ deal; ‘Ariel’ has to kill; By cutting off Prince Eric’s legs, and washing her feet in his blood; Which she does not do; And ends up … (Oh, watch the movie!)
Mytheresa – ‘Ganni’ – Loafers – Ladies, look at me, I’m a nonconformist, that’s right!. Yes, with a seriously square heel!; yes, with a seriously round mouth!; and yes, I walk around like I own the place!; comfortable contemporary and versatile; wearing my brown snakeskin, showing off my endearing jewel embellishment on my upper!; but guess what? Influencers adore me; as do editors globally. (The women that wear these shoe have got soul, funky, ‘SuperFly’, and most probably married to ‘John Shaft’; ‘Can you dig it!’?.)
‘Shaft’ -The Movie – 1971.
L.K Bennett – ‘Shana’ Green Croc-Effect Flats – First was a ‘snake’, and now we have a croc. A modern contemporary classic every day, anytime alternative to the traditional flat loafer. Pictured here in green, they also come in brown; and have a rounded toe – very casual, very fun. These loafers suit a ‘Piscean’ (‘Rihanna’) or ‘Taurian’ (Queen Elizabeth ll) woman that lives near the river, she is bubbly, grounded, and appreciates wealth, (and jewellery) not necessarily her own.
I have just a couple of things to add; before I go; Ladies, it does not seem you can trust, Mums, or Dads, according to these Fairy Tales. And I would like to thank ‘Joe 90; For allowing me to write this blog.
Maggie’, Joe’s 90’s’ CAT!
The Fairytale End.
I have shown you a comprehensive and honest view of what a ‘Gentleman’ likes, in the way of what shoes (loafers) styles women wear, and what gets their hearts racing? While having a bit of (Fairytale) fun;
‘However,’ my commitment to yourselves, regardless of creed colour gender or any other persuasion, is solely to help your search in finding the perfect ‘amazing shoes,’ and getting the best’ amazing results.’
If you care to read my ‘About Me’ page, you will get the whole story of how ‘Joe 90″ arrived here today.
Please, feel free to leave any (Fairytale) comments.